Hard to know where to begin with this review of the Salty Monkey Bed & Brunch & More. And it was so much more - from our arrival and welcoming cocktail to the moment we left with the promise of a service dog it was delightful.We were a little concerned about our late arrival but all those fears melted away with the hospitable offering of a welcoming cocktail of monkey juice. One taste was all it took to let us know we were on the way to a trip of a lifetime.Once we settled in our hosts went out of their way to make us feel welcome by offering us a midnight smorgasbord of home cooked sausage, boiled eggs and warmed apple fritters. I could tell you it was good, let actions tell the tale as one other guest consumed almost all of the apple fritters. I believe what came next was a lowcountry custom because it was all topped off with shots and some delicious wine from a local vineyard known only as MD 20/20.The hour was late but the children were nestled in their beds with a warm up for their 72 hour Fortnite marathon.The next day dawned cloudy and rainy but not to fear, our host’s sunny disposition dispelled any trepidation about the weather. Even though we had just finished a delicious midnight breakfast brunch a few hours earlier, our hosts still sprang into action with huge pancake platters replete with bacon. When we offhandedly mentioned eggs would be nice, they cheerily prepared a feast of locally sourced eggs cooked just so. It was a shame one of the guest had to forgo the breakfast because they had filled up on hot apple fritters.Our hosts mentioned that in a traditional way, many guests like to come and take a walk on the beach or read for some solitude. Even though the weather was not going to cooperate our kids were entertained with breaks in the Fortnite marathon by the slime making craft camp. It was a professionally run operation with gallons of glue, barbasol, even glitter and Googly eyes.There was still plenty for the adults to do with an ice plunge, historical tales on the porch and even late afternoon sportfishing with the locals.The meals were definitely one of the highlights of this stay, even including lunches with wraps made exactly to our specifications including JIF branded peanut butter.Preparations for the evening feast started early in the afternoon. The clouds were gray but our spirits were not with fun-filled hours of porch day-drinking.No need was too small to be met as one guests child’s toy needed repair. Our host whipped out their pince nez glasses and sewing kit and expertly tailored a repair on the spot all the while still cooking dinner. Is there nothing he can’t do...we all wondered in amazement. There was one dark moment when we touched the blinds in the guest bath and they unraveled. Unfazed and kindly our host gently took them down and made an on the spot repair. Grateful for his understanding, we breathed easy knowing that our modesty would be preserved from the neighbors view of our toilette.Meanwhile his spouse Esperanza quietly flitted around tidying up and restocking. She was so discreet it was almost as if she was behind the walls and unseen, harkening back to plantation days and traditional decorum of Old South hospitality. As soon as any child made a peep, she was right there with a soft hand and a tender word. She even got out a game classic called Catchphrase and all the kids played the one remaining disc in it over and over and over.Even the pets were well mannered and our host went so far as to offer us a departing loaner program for their peanut-allergy service-dog, Jake. Alas, we did not have a peanut allergy so we had to decline much to the chagrin of our children.The evening meal included flame broiling on an outdoor grill. The grill area must’ve been over an Indian burial ground because there was a huge infestation of flies. We tried several methods to eradicate these vermin including a wind tunnel in the cooking area. Our host endeavored to persevere and in fact not (continued)

(Part 2 Continued from Steve Braggs review)The evening meal included flame broiling on an outdoor grill. The grill area must’ve been over an Indian burial ground because there was a huge infestation of flies. We tried several methods to eradicate these vermin including a wind tunnel in the cooking area. Our host endeavored to persevere and in fact not a single fly touched any of the meat. To our amazement the epilogue to the flame broiler was a final treatment; a piece de resistance of a steam bath “en foil” which rendered the chicken the perfect combination of succulent and tender. Always sensitive to every guests gastronomical preferences, our host graciously agreed to serve the summer salad with blue cheese on the side. So full of the lemon steamed chicken it was hard to even add a side salad but I forced myself to do so and am glad I did.After the meal the fortnight marathon continued while the adults were entertained by stories from our host about his barbecue training on the front lines as an Army Ranger. He regaled us with Bronx tales of family rum-running and Lowcountry traditional folklore.He is soooo funny - I bet his wife’s sides hurt from just laughing all the time.The next morning came sunny and bright including a perfect mid-morning breakfast casserole prepared by Esperanza.Our host then mobilized a caravan to the beach with every accoutrement of comfort you could imagine. A short walk away across a busy highway we established Camp Boogie Board. True to the adage of teaching a man to fish, our host went on with a nifty hands-on clinic on beach umbrella erection and in-the-water boogie board techniques. Meanwhile nothing was overlooked as Esperanza took care of the younger guests, collaborating with my wife on professional sand castle excavation techniques. The handmade sandwiches for lunch really hit the spot after hours of frolicking in the surf.Not wanting the older children to run out of energy, later that afternoon our host volunteered to take them on a golf cart excursion to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Nothing was denied them as they gorged their eyes and tummies on all manner of Krispy Kreme treats.We returned from the beach leaving everything in place as it was. Esperanza not wanting us to miss any stops on the diabetic highway, then took the children to get ice cream at a famous local establishment, appropriately named Friendly’s. When the milkshakes arrived less than chilled, her young assistant wouldn’t have it and sent them back to be redone to perfection.Meanwhile her husband was slaving away in the cozy galley working on another repast of perfection. Somehow knowing my younger son’s penchant for a fine cooked steak, we were to sup that eve on steak and chicken fajitas. Every inch of the table was covered with every possible garnishment including sour cream, chips and salsa.As we were finishing our fajitas, we had a surprise visit from one of Esperanza’s family members. Amid squeals of delight and “hey girl, hey”, her amply endowed visitor settled into share family updates and gossip.Wisely sensing they needed their space our host took the male guests back out to the beach for a night of moonless sportfishing. We were able to position ourselves just so that we could work on our casting techniques avoiding packs of crab hunting tweens with flashlights, all of them oblivious to our presence.Unfortunately one of the male guests succumbed to Gastrointestinal distress and had to return to the Salty Monkey. Too bad he had to forgo the convenience of the Luggable Loo found at the Four Oaks Farm as described on one of our earlier trips.Perhaps he just wanted to witness the Mom’s Fortnite Dance Competition organized by Esperanza. Hilarity ensued with everyone being a winner.(For completion of the review, please view photo screen shot)